It's true.
Holly and I both. But different parts of a grown up relationship.
I have realized (thanks to a delightful conversation with a delightful friend) that when I wonder what's wrong with me the answer is nothing. When someone decides they don't want to be my friend anymore or has a problem with me, or doesn't ask me out again there isn't something wrong with me. It's just that it's their decision. or sometimes mine.
Not to say there isn't always opportunity for improvement, but it's not because I'm not enough, or there's something wrong with me. It's just because they have a choice, and I may not be what they're looking for right there in a friend or whatever. And that's okay.
This is not coming from anywhere-I don't think there's anything wrong with me, and I'm not pining or anything. But I've been thinking about this for a while.
Because there are some people who are always there for me, and for whom I am just right.
1. Heavenly Father
2. Jesus Christ
3. My family.
I am grateful for you, for this conversation and others we've had like it. You are pretty inspiring to me. And I'm glad that you happen to have thoughts along the same lines as me, often, but happen to also have the ability to put those thoughts into words. It's a gift.
"Am I not pretty enough, is my heart too broken? Do I cry too much, am I too outspoken?"
what was wrong with me? Why did I put myself through that and wallow in self destruction and unacceptance? I still like that song- it's good for a minute, but not for long. But, I'm glad I don't do that anymore. I don't think it was very healthy.
3 comments:
Thanks for sharing Amy! I really needed that today. :)
The other week I found a CD we made when we were roommates at Centennial that had that song on it. It was really fun to find that CD and remember all the good times we had.
"It's not you, it's me."
"You're giving me the 'it's not you, it's me' routine? I INVENTED 'it's not you, it's me'! Nobody tells me it's them, not me, if it's anybody, it's me!"
"All right, George, it's you."
"Dang RIGHT it's me!"
And that was a delightful conversation, assuming I'm the delightful friend you mentioned. And if not, well, I can just pretend and feel good about myself anyway.
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